none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize