I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
