and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
thus making me awesome and them whores
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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