I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
