words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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