I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
