apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
organizing the empties. That sober.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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