I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
