OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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