I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
