Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
