Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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