Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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