you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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