He is an equal opportunity slut.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
