OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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