Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
