alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
