I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize