THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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