I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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