I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
