she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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