You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Randomize
