Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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