I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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