i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
