You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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