Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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