Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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