the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
