I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
