Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
BRING THE BAGELS
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
