Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
