Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
