Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
