Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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