Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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