Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
