She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
