you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
