i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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