Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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