It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
