I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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