I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
