I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
