guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You were trust falling into bushes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
