there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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