Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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