I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
