If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
