"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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