who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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