week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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