Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
