none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
